Thursday, June 23, 2011

Planning Parenthood

In May my husband and I started trying for a baby, and I have become fully aware that you really can't plan parenthood, let alone your whole  life.  That my perfect plan of  having a baby right away is not realistic and that I need to give it more time.  I tend to be the impatient type so this is really hard to do lol.  Anyways I realized that life has other plans for everyone, sometimes they fit our plans and sometimes they don't.  When we came back from our trip to Colorado to see my family I wasn't feeling well, and when I went to see my regular doctor she advised me my symptoms could be pregnancy related but that it was too early to tell and I would have to wait till I miss my period.  I decided not to get overly excited by the news because there is a chance that I am not pregnant, and I don't want to be too dissapointed.  When my husband and I started on this journey I thought that it would be easy to not really try to get pregnant and to just let nature take its course.  However now that we started I realized I want to try, I want my little bundle of joy ( and by bundle I mean 1 child, not twins ).  I am sure my father will read this and he will be thinking he knew all along this would happen :0)

On another note a person that I hold very dear to me has reappeared in my life after a very long time of being away.  When I was 19 years old I met my best friend, my soulmate forever, my twin soul.  We were in the same training class at Dish Network, she was the perky blonde who was coy, very smart, loving and funny, full of joy and life, and her smile and laugh could light up the darkest of rooms.  There was an instant connection, we liked the same movies, styles of clothes, music, etc... we were so alike it was scary.  Most people did not and still do not understand this connection, nor did they think that our friendship at times was a good one.  For me my best friend and her baby boy were my life, we had good times and bad times but I loved her more than I have ever loved anyone, and she loved me the same.  I was there for her through a divorce, through her whole pregnancy and delivering her second baby boy, she was there when the love of my life moved to Texas to go to school and when he broke my heart, we spent so much time together we actually practically lived together. 

At this time in my life my parents and I were not getting along, they were trying to push me to have the life they wanted for me, or moreso approved of, and the more they pushed, the more I ran the opposite direction.  My best friend and her family accepted me for who I was and they were my escape from my problems. We made our own world together where we existed, where we escaped.  I feel very lucky that she is back in my life she has a wonderful family now and a husband who takes care of her, everything she deserves, and for that I am so relieved. 

I also want to thank her family for taking care of me, like my own should have, and for seeing in us the things we saw in each other. 

My sunshine, the rays that fall like honey silk upon your face,
Your smile and love are never erased,
Oh how I have missed you,
The peanut butter to my jelly,
My best friend face,
We will always be together
Our love will never fade.